I Remember

As I sit here with my family tonight I reflect and remember.

I remember that I was at work at the hospital. I had just started a 12 hr shift. 

I walked into the break room and saw the first plane had just hit. There was a lot of confusion. 

I called my mom and as I was talking to her about it I watched the 2nd plane hit. We knew then that something terrible was happening at that moment.

I worked the rest of my shift helplessly as the United States was falling apart around me.

Cautiously checking the television on my breaks, terrified to see what else had happened. 

I just wanted to go home. What if it was all over and I would never see my family again?

Who are these people?

What is happening?

Why is this happening?

I just wanted my family. My baby. My husband. Who was working out of town at the time. In the state capitol. Given the uncertainty of the whole situation, any capitol did not seem like the place to be.
I wanted him to come home so bad.

I wanted my parents.

I checked on patients. Women who were in the throws of labor. About to deliver a child on this day.

It didn't seem fair. 

I felt so helpless.

I tried to stay calm. We all did. We all walked around smiling for each other. That is all you could do. 

It was really scary and really sad. 

Later on my lunch break I had walked over to the children's hospital to their cafeteria. 

They had halted all air traffic by that time. 

The air was silent. And you will never know just how loud the sky is until there is nothing in it. 

It was dead silent. 

Also no one was really going anywhere at this point either so there wasn't much traffic at all. The streets were so eerily still in a part of downtown that is usually very busy. 

It was finally time for my shift to end and I was able to go home. 

I ran to my apartment as fast as I could, grabbed all the essentials for me and Eli, and headed straight to my parents house where I would stay. 

As I drove down that long road, watching the sun set on that horrendous day, I just couldn't imagine what  could possibly be happening. I tried and tried, but I just couldn't grasp it. 

Not much was known yet.

But we did know that this was a terrorist attack on our country.

And we did know that so many people had lost their lives that day.

Many of who lost their life saving others. 

I thought about the faces I had seen over and over on the television all day. 

The unreal visual of the people who had chosen to leap to their death instead of perishing in the towers. 

The people running through the streets, their eyes barely opening behind all of the ash and soot that covered them. 

Countless firemen and other emergency workers who went to the scene without a second of hesitation and put their lives on the line to help. Some of them are here to tell there stories of that day, but many are not.

After the towers fell the images of a war zone was all that was left. Wreckage that was not identifiable as two office buildings. The air was black. It did not look like anything from the United States of America.
One thing that really stuck out to me and still does when I see images of that day are all of the sheets of paper from the office buildings raining down and scattering the streets.
Not sure why, but that really bothers me.
Makes it so human I guess.

We have all seen those images many times. 

It felt so good to get to my parents house that night. To be with my mom and dad. No matter how old you are, you sometimes just need your mom and dad to feel safe. 

I put Eli in bed with me that night, pulled him close, and held him as tight as I could. I smelled his hair and felt his warm soft skin against mine. So grateful, but still so scared of what was happening. I'm pretty sure I slept with one eye open. 

But on this day, 10 years later, we have overcome. 

We have overcome and we have grown as a country. 

I am so proud to be an American today.

We will never ever forget.

Never forget that day. And never forget those that lost and gave their lives.  

We will take from this and grow. We already have grown so much. 

Our future will prosper. 

We will guide and nurture and hope for a future full of peace and prosperity for our children.

We will never forget.

Never forget.